That Critical Inner Voice…..

Almost everyone struggles with a voice within themselves that criticises what they do and scrapes away at their self-esteem. There is obviously nothing wrong with a little bit of self-criticism; in fact, it can help us look for ways to grow or change. However, when this voice becomes too negative and repetitive, we start to believe the criticisms as a truth, and this can be very damaging.

The first step is always to pause and notice what the voice is frequently telling you. Phrases like ‘I never get things right’, ‘I always upset people’, or I’m never going to be good enough’ are often extreme and inaccurate. So, once you have noticed, begin to question what the voice is telling you….’Do you never get things right?’ ‘Do you always upset people?’ or is it that you sometimes get things wrong, and you actually don’t upset people that often?

Actively questioning this and exploring alternative possibilities can be incredibly useful. For example, if it says: ‘I always upset people’ you might recall : ‘I didn’t upset Alex, I made her laugh the other day’ and, ‘I’m not good enough’ could be countered with: ‘I am good enough for my partner’ . Seeking evidence that contradicts the inner critical voice can help us to see that the voice isn’t always right. Often it’s just a habitual thought pattern and the truth is usually kinder, we are not as bad as we thought!

The next time you hear your inner voice repeating some negative opinion about yourself, pause and reflect…